Yesterday I went along to the Primrose suite at the hospital. First of all Hubby and I were really confused by the chirpy ladies on reception. There they were chatting and laughing, to be fair I wanted to say " Er excuse me" but then I realised - well its not meant to be a morgue is it!
We took a seat and checked out the fish tank, well Andrew did. I walked round and saw all the books and leaflets on cancer and chemotherapy which to be fair is perfectly normal to me now.
After a short wait we were called up by my nurse Rachel, shown to a lovely room and immediately offered a cup of tea. I had brought a list of questions ranging from what cancer do I have - multifocal grade 2 invasive ductal carcinoma with metastatic in the axillary nodes. Which to you and me means the cancer is in one area, but we don't know how big it is. The type of cancer is fast growing it's spread to at least one lymph node, but its a common cancer. So once the operation is done and everything is tested, I will get my results two weeks after whereas they will put all of my statistics into a computer and it'll come up what type of treatment to have - which is aimed to cure me - amazing really. So two and a half weeks later I will be told what the future holds. I will be with the hospital for at least 5 years, but they are hoping that the treatment should take only 6 to 9 months, depending on the statistics.
Anyway, I then asked Rachel a few more questions and had a little bit of a chat about my feelings. Which to be fair is mainly on the side of how bloody inconvenient this is at this time of year. As a control freak I wanted to get the house ready for Christmas and guests etc. I am convinced I will still be okay over Christmas and chemotherapy won't start until after. However not sure if I could rock a bald head for New Year's Eve! Although having said that on the way out -armed with loads more booklets - I am thinking of starting my own cancer publications library. We were taken to the wig department and the wigs........wow! There were at least 4 of them I'd quite happily wear. The room itself is made up like a little beauty salon with a dressing table and mirror for the fittings, while we were there I was also given a leaflet on pampering therapy entitled - Look good- Feel better, it's based around a complimentary make up workshop that I can go to - and I get a free goody bag full of make up - happy days. I was also given a swimwear and underwear brochure although pricey some of it was very glamorous and I thought now you're talking. This having cancer lark is not too bad, wigs, free make up, new boob, what more could a girl ask for?
Through all of this my husband and children have kept abreast (no pun intended) of what has been going on. I sat the children down again yesterday and gave them an update of what's happening. My son pondered everything we had told him and asked " when you go bald, please tell me you're not going to get a really wacky wig?" To which I replied " Of course I am Con this is my chance to look really outlandish, I want a purple and pink one. I will never get this chance again, to be able to express the real me" He looked at me - sniffed then asked if we could have sausage and mash for tea.
My daughter Katie is happy that even though I can't drive we can have a girls day in for her birthday the week before Christmas. Popcorn, hot chocolate and a movie day!
My husband Andrew hugs and kisses me everyday as if his life depends on it, we joke ( as always) that I am a selfish cow for getting cancer, but after Rachel has told him I would probably only be in the hospital a maximum of 5 days tops he is slightly annoyed that he won't get the bed to himself for long to perfect his starfish impressions, but on the other hand he is relieved as he tells me he won't have to cook, clean, work and look after the kids for too long on his own - as it will be all too much for him...... I raise an eyebrow and we collapse into giggles. Laughter is never in short supply in our house.